Holding Space for Yourself and Others: A Gift for Moms

MINDFULNESS

Monica Rene

2/4/20254 min read

Dear Mama,

Have you ever heard the phrase "holding space"? It might sound simple, but it’s actually a powerful practice that’s made a huge difference in my life. When my yoga mentor Caitlin introduced me to the concept, I had no idea how much I needed it. As a mom, I was so focused on taking care of everyone else that I completely neglected my own emotional needs. It wasn’t until I learned how to hold space for myself that I truly understood how to show up more fully for my children, my loved ones, and, yes, myself.

At its core, holding space means being present—without judgment, without trying to fix or change anything. It’s creating a safe container where feelings and emotions can be acknowledged and allowed to simply be. This is something I didn’t understand until I started practicing it—not just for others, but for myself.

What Does It Mean to Hold Space?

Holding space for someone means giving them the freedom to express their thoughts and emotions without feeling rushed, judged, or pressured to “fix” things. For example, when your child is upset, holding space means being fully present with them, allowing them to feel what they feel, and offering comfort without immediately jumping in with solutions.

But holding space doesn’t just apply to others—it’s also a practice of self-compassion. It’s about giving yourself the grace to feel your own emotions without guilt or shame, and without the pressure to “snap out of it” or change your feelings right away.

When I first started to truly hold space for myself, I realized how many moments I’d been rushing through without acknowledging my own needs. I had been giving and giving to everyone around me, thinking that’s what made me a good mom, but I was neglecting my own emotional health in the process. That’s when I learned that you can’t pour from an empty cup. If I don’t make space for myself, I won’t be able to make space for anyone else, especially not in a way that feels grounded and whole.

Holding Space for Yourself

As moms, we are often the emotional anchors for our families. But when was the last time you paused to hold space for your own heart? Here’s how you can begin:

Pause and Check In: Take a moment during your day to check in with yourself. How are you feeling? Are you overwhelmed, frustrated, or exhausted? Just acknowledging these emotions can be a powerful first step.
Let Yourself Feel: You’re allowed to have difficult emotions. Holding space for yourself means allowing those feelings to exist without judgment. It doesn’t mean wallowing or staying stuck—it means giving yourself permission to feel without rushing through it.
Practice Self-Compassion: You are doing your best, and that’s enough. Hold space for the fact that you are human, and you deserve to give yourself the same kindness you offer to others.
Set Boundaries: This is essential for holding space for yourself. Learn to say no or create time for yourself, whether it’s five minutes of silence, a walk, or a bath. These small moments of “space” are like breath for your soul.

Holding Space for Others

Once you start holding space for yourself, you’ll notice how much easier it becomes to do the same for others. As a mom, for example, holding space for your child means giving them the freedom to express their feelings fully, without interrupting or rushing to fix the situation. For me, this has been a huge challenge. My nurse brain is always in problem-solving mode, eager to offer solutions. But what I’ve realized is that my instincts to "fix" aren’t always what’s needed. Even though my intentions are pure, I’ve learned that sometimes not doing is actually the most helpful thing I can offer.

Every day, I’m practicing the art of pausing, listening, and letting others simply be in their space. It’s a skill I’m still refining, but when I manage to do it, it feels so good. Of course, there’s a time and place for advice, but I’ve learned that it often needs to simmer a bit before it’s truly helpful. Giving space for someone to be heard and understood first can make all the difference.

Here’s what holding space for others might look like:

Listening with Full Attention: When your child is upset, you don’t need to solve the problem right away. Simply listening, making eye contact, and acknowledging their feelings allows them to feel heard and supported.
Being Present Without Judgment: When your partner or a friend is going through something difficult, sometimes they just need someone to be there. You don’t have to offer advice or even understand exactly what they’re going through—you just need to be there, offering your presence and understanding.
Creating Space for Vulnerability: Holding space for others also means giving them the freedom to be vulnerable, just as you’re allowing yourself to be. It can be uncomfortable to sit with someone else's pain or difficult emotions, but it’s in these moments that real connection happens.

How Holding Space for Yourself Enriches Your Relationships

When you make space for yourself—emotionally and physically—you naturally become better at holding space for others. You show up more present, more compassionate, and more grounded. This creates a ripple effect. Your children, for instance, will learn how to hold space for their own emotions, as well as for others, simply by observing how you approach feelings with understanding and patience.

By holding space for yourself and others, you also model healthy emotional boundaries. You teach your kids that it’s okay to take a break when they need it, and that their feelings are valid, no matter what they are. You give them the freedom to express themselves fully, which is a beautiful gift that will last them a lifetime.

The Practice of Holding Space: A Lifelong Journey

Remember, holding space is a practice, not a destination. It’s a continual process of tuning in, being present, and offering yourself and others the grace to feel and grow. So, Mama, next time you feel overwhelmed or exhausted, know that it’s okay to hold space for yourself. Take a breath. Let the feelings come. And when you’re ready, show up with that same presence for the people you love.

By holding space for yourself, you are honoring your own worth. And by holding space for others, you create a world of love, acceptance, and connection.