Is it Kind? Is it Necessary? Is it True? Discovering a Life-Changing Practice

In the hustle and bustle of daily life, we often find ourselves caught up in our thoughts, judgments, and conversations. It’s easy to fall into patterns of overthinking, criticizing, or reacting impulsively. But what if you had a simple framework to pause and ask yourself three powerful questions before speaking or acting?

These three questions—“Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true?”—can be a game-changer in how you approach your words, actions, and thoughts. Let’s explore how this simple practice can help you navigate your day with more mindfulness and compassion, both toward yourself and others.

The Power of These Three Questions

I first learned about this practice during my yoga training, and it has since become a transformative tool in my everyday life. The beauty of these questions is their simplicity and how they can apply to almost any situation. It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of daily responsibilities, especially as a mom, but taking a moment to check in with yourself before responding can completely change the direction of your day.

1. Is It Kind?
   When you ask yourself, "Is it kind?" you’re creating a filter to make sure your words and actions come from a place of compassion. It’s easy to get frustrated or stressed, especially when you're juggling so many things. However, pausing to consider kindness in your interactions can lead to more peaceful, positive outcomes. Whether it’s how you respond to your kids’ endless questions or the way you handle challenges, kindness can be the game-changer.

2. Is It Necessary?
   Sometimes we feel the need to say something or take action out of habit or impatience, but is it really necessary? Asking yourself this question can help you avoid unnecessary conflict or stress. You’ll start to realize that not everything requires an immediate response, and some things can simply be let go. This practice is especially helpful for those moments when you’re feeling overwhelmed or have too much on your plate.

3. Is It True?
   The final question is about honesty. Sometimes, we speak out of assumptions or fears that aren’t based on reality. By checking whether what you’re about to say or do is true, you’re aligning your actions with integrity. This also helps you avoid spreading unnecessary negativity or misinformation, especially in moments of stress when your mind might want to jump to conclusions. Being truthful can bring clarity and calm, both to your own thoughts and in how you communicate with others.

My Personal Journey with These Questions

When I first heard about this practice during my yoga training, I thought it sounded simple but maybe a little too idealistic. I’ve always been someone who tends to react quickly to things—especially when I’m stressed or feeling overwhelmed. But over time, I started applying these questions to my own life and noticed a shift.

For example, I’ll ask myself, “Is it kind?” when I’m feeling short-tempered with my kids. I’ve learned that pausing to check in with myself and soften my tone can make a huge difference in how we interact. “Is it necessary?” helps me realize that sometimes, it’s okay to let go of small annoyances instead of reacting to them. And “Is it true?” has helped me pause before assuming things about situations or people, leading to less judgment and more clarity.

This practice has been especially transformative in how I communicate with my family and even with myself. I’ve noticed that when I pause and reflect before responding, it creates a more peaceful environment at home. It’s a practice I’m still working on, but the more I use it, the easier it becomes to choose kindness, mindfulness, and truth in my day-to-day interactions.

How You Can Use These Questions in Your Life

The beauty of this practice is that it’s so simple, yet powerful. Whether you’re responding to a challenging situation or deciding whether to speak up in a conversation, you can use these questions as a guide:

• Pause and Reflect: Before you speak or act, take a breath. Ask yourself: “Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true?” This gives you a moment of space to check in with your thoughts and emotions.

• Apply It to Your Relationships: This practice is especially helpful when interacting with others—whether it’s your spouse, kids, or coworkers. It can lead to more empathetic, balanced exchanges and help you avoid unnecessary conflict.

• Use It for Self-Compassion: The questions aren’t just for how you interact with others. They’re also for yourself. When you’re feeling overwhelmed or critical of yourself, ask: “Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true?” It can help you reframe your inner dialogue and practice self-compassion.

The Takeaway: A Simple Practice with Big Results

Incorporating “Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it true?” into your daily life can help you create more mindful interactions with yourself and others. It’s a practice of awareness, empathy, and honesty, and it’s something that doesn’t take a lot of time but has the power to transform your relationships and how you approach your day.

For me, learning these questions through yoga training was a revelation. It wasn’t just about the physical practice on the mat—it was about how I could apply mindfulness to every part of my life. And now, I share this practice with my family, hoping it helps us all communicate and connect more meaningfully.

It’s a journey, and I’m still learning, but every time I pause to ask myself these questions, I feel more grounded and more at peace. It’s a simple but life-changing shift—one that I hope you’ll embrace too.